Bitte um Rückmeldung - Songtext :)

  • Ersteller Sniffy91
  • Erstellt am
S

Sniffy91

Registriert
02.07.09
Beiträge
3
Reaktionen
0
Punkte
5
she throws on her make-up,
preparing for the dance,
gonna stay up all night
drinking with friends

noone knows how shes broken inside
noone knows the way she dies
everyday
for the rest of her life [maybe]

he is all that she cant forget
she tries to drink him away
but that never helps
he is all that she cant get over
she tries to cry him away
but still shes hurting...

now shes laughing out loud,
shes flirting around
seems as if shes enjoying
the life that shes found

noone knows that shes fallin apart
noone knows the way she cries
everynight
in her sleep [and even in her dreams]

he is all that she cant forget
she tries to dance him away
but that never helps
he is all that she cant get over
she tries to scream him away
but still shes hurting...

© Coco






Ein Versuch, den ich vor einem guten Jahr getätigt hab. Wollte mal hören, wie der hier so ankommt! :)
Freue mich über jede Kritik, sowohl negativer als auch positiver Art!

Danke und liebe Grüße :)
 
hi,

hm. weiss nich wirklich, was ich davon halten soll.

liest sich sehr deutsch gedacht und ins englische übertragen.
mmn. sind ein paar timetwister drin. metrik is für mich weitestgehend ok, glaub ich, könnte aber runder sein. würde weiter dran feilen.

hier mal nen nen vorschlag:

throwing on her make-up,
preparing for the dance,
gonna stay up all night long
drinking with her friends

but noone knows she's broken inside
noone knows the way she dies
everyday
for the rest of her life

he is all she cant forget
trying to drink him away (fällt mir auch nix besseres ein, ich magse aber dennoch nich:))
but it doesn't relief her mind
he is all that she cant get over
she's trying to cry him away
but still she's hurt

laughing out loud now,
she's flirting around
seems like she's enjoying
the new life she found

but noone knows how she is falling apart
noone knows she's crying so hard
everynight
when she's sleeping


gruß,

micha
 

Ähnliche Themen

W
Antworten
74
Aufrufe
2K
Entone
Entone
Antworten
10
Aufrufe
880
Schlumpfpeter
Schlumpfpeter
Witti007
Antworten
4
Aufrufe
573
Witti007
Witti007
chockann
Antworten
3
Aufrufe
263
GinMonotonic
GinMonotonic

Oft gelesene Themen

Zurück
Oben